Belch.Com archive
Category: Enablers
October 5, 2010
Bag of Barf or Latest Oriental Snack?
Yeah, I think someone’s translator is broken. Tastes like bits of chicken and peas with a side of stomach acid. Thanks to Tosh.
October 5, 2010
Gross Tasteless Chips Ditching Their Hippie Bio Packaging
In addition to waterboarding terrorists at Gitmo, we also make them eat Frito Lay’s Sun Chips, which just announced that they are getting rid of their noisy biodegradable packaging for nice safe plastic and foil.
Frito-Lay, the snack giant owned by PepsiCo Inc., says it is pulling most of the biodegradable packaging it uses for its Sun Chips snacks, following an outcry from consumers who complained the new bags were too noisy.
Touted by Frito-Lay as 100% compostable, the packaging, made from biodegradable plant material, began hitting store shelves in January. Sales of the multigrain snack have since tumbled.
Frito-Lay is returning to its old, nondegradable packaging, for five of the six Sun Chips flavors. It will continue to use the noisy packaging for its Sun Chips Original brand. It has been working on trying to find a quieter version of the packaging since it first introduced the new bags. A process that is continuing.
I once tried to eat a sun chip. Then I ate some tree bark with salt on it and really couldn’t tell the difference. It was Beech Tree bark, not Willow or Oak, c’mon that would just be gross.
September 15, 2010
Eff You Africa! We Have Meat Trees!
We live in an amazing time of history. We have more food than we need and we take photographs of it and show it to each other instantaneously via the internet. Africans not so much.
A tree made of sausage slices and cocktail weenies.
August 31, 2010
Bottoms Up Buckos!
You might just live longer!
From Time here:
One of the most contentious issues in the vast literature about alcohol consumption has been the consistent finding that those who don’t drink actually tend to die sooner than those who do. The standard Alcoholics Anonymous explanation for this finding is that many of those who show up as abstainers in such research are actually former hard-core drunks who had already incurred health problems associated with drinking.
But a new paper in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research suggests that — for reasons that aren’t entirely clear — abstaining from alcohol does actually tend to increase one’s risk of dying even when you exclude former drinkers. The most shocking part? Abstainers’ mortality rates are higher than those of heavy drinkers.
Its because drunks bounce upon impact. Straight people get all splatty.
July 26, 2010
Pasty for the Train Ride
I am in London and picked up a Cornish Pasty from the pasty stand in Marylebone Station for the trainride back to Aylesbury.
I have no idea why this isn’t a universal food that supplants the hamburger as the ideal fast food. Delicious, easy to carry and makes a crowded train ride bearable.
July 8, 2010
Sandwiches in a Can!
Can you say candwich?
Would you eat a PBJ from a vending machine can? How about BBQ chicken?
Check out the website for candwiches here. But don’t get too excited, this product was made with cash misappropriated from other investments.
July 8, 2010
McDonalds to CSPI re: Happy Meals- STFU
CSPI threatened to sue McDonalds because they said that the company giving toys to children was akin to “the effect of conscripting America’s children into an unpaid drone army of word-of-mouth marketers.”
To which McDonalds replied:
“Internet sites, blogs and network surveys suggest that public opinion is running overwhelmingly against your premise,” McDonalds CEO Jim Skinner wrote. “Our customer websites and phone lines at McDonald’s are also busy, with more than nine out of 10 customers disagreeing with your agenda.”
“CSPI is wrong in its assertions, and frivolous in its legal threats,” Skinner said, calling the group’s claims “over-the-top rhetoric.”
“CSPI’s twisted characterization of McDonald’s as ‘the stranger in the playground handing out candy to children’ is an insult to every one of our franchisees and employees around the world,” Skinner wrote. “When CSPI refers to America’s children as ‘an unpaid drone army,” you similarly denigrate parents and families, because they are fully capable of making their own decisions. You should apologize.”“Parents, in particular, strongly believe they have the right and responsibility to decide what’s best for their children, not CSPI,” he wrote. “It’s really that simple.”
Wow, way to stand up for yourselves McDonalds. No restaurant in the fast food industry has done more to lead the way in providing healthy food than McDonalds. McDonalds introduced salads and their competitors scrambled to compete. Ditto with fruit cups and apple sticks. CSPI, who are all a bunch of vegan kooks should just shut up.
July 6, 2010
Hell This Fresh Must Be From Farmville
I don’t drink coffee. But a lot of my friends either work for, or hang out at Starbucks, where one of my favorite and worn-out jokes is to ask the barrista for a Diet Coke, and of course, he/she will deny me my beverage of choice. So to satisfy my Diet Coke habit, I go to 7-Eleven a lot. I have noticed the cross promotions of slurpees and Mafia Wars. But now Zynga and 7-Eleven are teaming up to bring consumers Farmville brand snacks.
From GeeksAreSexy here:
Unless you’ve prevented their updates from appearing on your facebook home page, you probably get spammed by Zynga and their stupid games almost every day. And now even those who were bright enough to stop Zynga from spamming them online will have to endure seeing the company’s marketing material at their local 7-Eleven convenience stores.
June 16, 2010
Mussels Fettucini
How lucky am I? My wife whipped this up for dinner tonight. Mussels in a white wine sauce with shallots and garlic poured over fresh fettucini.
June 3, 2010
Grim Eater Banned from NZ Funeral Homes
There is lots of free food around if you know where to look. Church bazaars, pot luck dinners at schools or community functions. And in New Zealand, they serve food at funerals. One man was attending four or more funerals per week and stocking up while politely paying his respects to the dearly departed whom he didn’t know.
From Reuters here:
A New Zealand funeral home has stepped in to stop a fake mourner who was attending up to four funerals a week to stock up on food, even filling up tupperware containers to take home, according to media reports.
The “grim eater” appeared at up to four funerals a week in March and April to enjoy the finger food but clearly did not know the deceased.
“Certainly he had a backpack with some tupperware containers so when people weren’t looking, he was stocking up.”He said the man was “always very quiet and polite, and did as the rest of the mourners did in paying his respects.”
I think at my funeral I want my body to hold a big bowl of onion dip and my casket can be filled with potato chips. Until I read this story the thought of serving finger foods at a funeral was completely alien to me.
May 9, 2010
Recover Hit Points While Quenching Thirst
Jones Soda has a spectacular line of Dungeons and Dragons based drinks out now. Behold, and throw a d20 to save:
From Techland here:
Everything about this is glorious – and I’m not even a D&D fan.
The previously announced D&D Soda from Jones is out and ready for order on the company’s Web site. ($10.99 for a six pack, $18.99 for a 12-pack)
Flavors are as follows:
Bigby’s Crushing Thirst Destroyer
Sneak Attack
Potion of Healing
Illithid Brain Juice
Dwarven Draught
Eldritch Blast
Anyone have any idea what these taste like? I’m a little nervous to taste anything with “Dwarven” or “Brain” on the label.
Is 11 bucks too much to pay for a six pack of soda pop? By Merlin’s Beard, I declare NO!
April 20, 2010
If You Went to Heaven, These Would Be in 7-11
This is the pinnacle of mechanical contrivances if you love food.
Thanks to Tosh’s blog here where they say:
The Bob Evans Sausage Gravy & Biscuit Machine.
Have you died and gone to heaven?
And then, in heaven, you get to eat out of The Bob Evans Sausage Gravy & Biscuit Machine and then you have a heart attack and die again and get to go to an even better heaven!
Nommy Nommy Nom.
April 15, 2010
Are You Ready for the PickleBack?
Its a trendy new drink featuring whiskey and pickle juice. And they say its yummy!
From News-Leader here:
Guy walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey followed by a chaser of pickle juice. Except, it’s no joke. The lip-puckering combination, called a pickle back, is morphing from insider’s secret to trendy drink.
And New York bartender Jason Littrell says it’s quite tasty, provided you use good quality brine. “Conceptually, I can see how it wouldn’t make sense, but once you try it then it’s like — OK, I get it. It’s just delicious,” he says.
As with all good bar stories, the origins of the pickle back aren’t particularly clear. It’s generally held to emanate from New York and can be found in a number of bars there. It can be a shot of bourbon followed by a shot of pickle brine, but more often than not starts with a shot of Jameson Irish whiskey.
Okay, I love pickle juice. Whenever I finish a jar of pickles, I usually drink most of the brine. Probably not good for me, but I love dill, salt and water, what can I say? I might try this concoction at my next party.
February 5, 2010
Innovation in the Ketchup Industry
I’m not a big ketchup user. I’m one of those weirdos who would rather dip my fries into mustard or BBQ sauce than the red stuff. But I do have to say I think this is a fantastic evolution of the ketchup pack. What took so long?
You can also become a fan of Heinz on Facebook.
December 22, 2009
Rat’s Jaw is Great Value
Some guy in Texas is claiming that he found a chunk of a rat’s jaw mixed in with his frozen vegetable medley that he purchased from WalMart. Yum.
From Slashfood here:
An East Texas man claims he found a fragment of a rat’s jawbone in a package of frozen vegetables he bought at Walmart.
Ben Leonard of White Oak, Texas, told KLTV-TV that his wife found the fragment in a package of Walmart’s Great Value brand frozen mixed vegetables. The family ate the vegetables before they figured out the fragment was likely a rat’s jaw.
“She thought it was a big chunk of corn cob or something and the further I got into it the more I thought, ‘Oh no, this is rat’s jaw!'” Leonard told KLTV.
Sufferin’ Succotash!
November 27, 2009
Beer Mug is Made From Bacon!
Bacon and beer. Two magical words, either of which will get me up from my chair and into the kitchen or pub. Thanks to [GAS] for the link!
October 28, 2009
100 Year Old Whiskey Discovered in Antarctica
Mmmm. 100 year old whiskey…. Bet its yummy. In fact, they are sending a special team to Antarctica to find out how good it is.
From Globalpost here:
This spit of black volcanic rock that juts out along the coast of Antarctica is an inhospitable place. Temperatures drop below –50 Fahrenheit and high winds cause blinding snowstorms. The only neighbors are a colony of penguins that squawk incessantly and leave a pungent scent in their wake.
But if you happen upon the small wooden hut that sits at Cape Royds and wriggled yourself underneath, you’d find a surprise stashed in the foot and a half of space beneath the floorboards. Tucked in the shadows and frozen to the ground are two cases of Scotch whisky left behind 100 years ago by Sir Ernest Shackleton after a failed attempt at the South Pole.Conservators discovered the wooden cases in January 2006. They were unable to dislodge the crates, but are going in with special tools in January during the Antarctic summer to try to retrieve them. An international treaty dictates that the crates, and any intact bottles that are inside, remain in Antarctica unless they need to be taken off the continent for conservation reasons. The whisky’s condition after a century of freezing and thawing is unknown.
October 17, 2009
Ho-White and Raspberry Ale
This print ad below was for Jamieson’s Raspberry Ale in Australia. Disney didn’t like it much, so the ad campaign was suspended.
From the Telegraph here:
The x-rated advertisement, for Jamieson’s Raspberry Ale, depicts the fairytale heroine blowing smoke rings while lying in bed with seven semi-clad dwarves.
In this Disney dystopia, Snow White has been renamed “Ho White”, while the loveable dwarves Sleepy, Happy and Doc are rebranded Filthy, Smarmy and Randy – supposedly to represent different types of drinkers.
However, the advertisement has reportedly angered Disney, the entertainment giant which licenses Snow White.
October 16, 2009
Pepsi Puts Real Sugar Back into Soft Drinks
I would love to try one of these new Pepsi products with real sugar in it. Whether this is in response to the whackjobs that think High Fructose Corn Syrup is bad for you or if that ingredient is just too expensive, or if it just tastes better, I’m not sure which. But I like the marketing and will certainly try the product. Check out more here.
