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Deadbeat Lithuanians Tracked Down by Witchcraft

Economic times are tough all over, even in Lithuania, where, desperate to get people to pay back their loans, the Debt Collecting Bureau hired a witch to track down deadbeats and bewitch them into paying their loans back. I guess she tracks them using a crystal ball and some nefarious flying monkeys.

From SignonSanDiego here:

In these difficult times for creditors, a Lithuanian debt collector is offering an unconventional service to retrieve arrears: witchcraft.

The Vilnius-based firm has hired Vilija Lobaciuviene, the Baltic nation’s most famous self-styled witch, to hunt down companies and individuals who are failing to pay their debts amid the credit crunch.

“There are certain people, who are using this crisis situation and refuse to pay back banks or other companies,” said Amantas Celkonas, director of the Skolu Isieskojimo Biuras, or debt collecting bureau.

“Our new employee will help them to understand the situation, reconsider what is right and wrong and act accordingly,” he said. “We will also help those who are in real trouble, suffering from psychological impact of bankruptcy and depression.

Lobaciuviene, who describes herself as “Lithuania’s leading witch,” is renowned in the former Soviet republic of 3.4 million people for providing such “magical” services as predicting the future and casting spells. She claims to use hypnosis, herbal medicines and “the bio-energy field” when helping her “patients.”

Burn it with fire, Blessed Be!  Why is it that witches never seem to be able to whip up any potions that keep them from being so hideous?

Dr. Jones

Do not talk about fight club. Oops.

One thought on “Deadbeat Lithuanians Tracked Down by Witchcraft

  • Gregory

    Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble.
    Adding intrest and penalties you oww me DOUBLE!
    HAHAHKHAHAAKKKHKHKH!!!
    I’ll get you my pretty…and garnish your wages too!

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