Holistic Healer Thinks Shoving Coffee Up Your Ass Will Prevent Hysterectomy

The thing about liberals is they are so full of awful ideas. The same people that think that Global Warming is real, swear that natural herbs and spices will cure cancer. Case in point is an awful article I saw yesterday that recommended that a woman shove 8 heaping cups of coffee up her ass to relieve uterine fibrosis. I wont link to the article because the website is compromised and sends people to a CryptoWall 4 exploit kit. But I have screenshots in the embedded tweet below. Be sure to look at all the photos in the tweet.

Castor oil and coffee enemas- Bad advice column for women’s health drops #CryptoWall4 pic.twitter.com/g91zHlE4d9

— Cyber Mad Hatter (@BelchSpeak) February 9, 2016

I ran across this while analyzing malicious websites for my job. A poor woman, obviously diagnosed with a heart-wrenching condition of uterine fibrosis, wanted to google search alternative solutions to having a complete hysterectomy. She stumbled across the worst advice column ever from a website called totalhealthmagazine[.]com that recommended that she only needed to adjust her natural hormonal and estrogen levels. And one way to do that was to pour 8 full cups of coffee right up her ass as a coffee colonic. I don’t know about you, but 8 cups of coffee would likely make me wired and on the verge of a heart attack. Absorbing coffee directly through the rectum speeds the caffeine even faster!

To add to this worst advice ever is this laughable recommendation from Google’s cache, as the site appears to be offline at the moment:

Since there is a direct relationship between fibroids and estrogen excess, restoring balance by increasing progesterone levels is necessary. Transdermal natural progesterone cream, a bio-identical source of progesterone, helps to restore this crucial balance. The recommended dose is 1/8 to 1/2 teaspoon rubbed twice daily (AM and PM) on soft tissue such as the abdomen, inner arms, or inner thighs usually from day 13 – 26 of the menstrual cycle.

A standardized extract of the herb chastetree berry (140 to 275 milligrams daily) has been shown to also increase progesterone levels. However, it may take three or four months before its full benefit is experienced.

In general, all foods that promote estrogen excess must be reduced or avoided: all non-organic, processed foods, dairy products, sugar, refined carbohydrates, unfermented soy products, alcohol, and coffee. Environmental estrogens are also found in personal care products, cosmetics, household cleaning products, plastics, and all forms of pesticides. Whenever possible, use only organic chemical-free products.

So of course, anything scientifically man-made medicine, building materials, and foods must be avoided. Plus, this witchdoctor throws in a tidbit about abstaining from coffee, except when you shove it up your ass.

The article ends with this ridiculous decree:

The herb, shepherd’s purse, is used to stop heavy bleeding and hemorrhaging, particularly from the uterus and is considered most effective for treating chronic uterine bleeding disorders from fibroids.

Successfully healing any health problem often requires the assistance of qualified holistic heath practitioners trained at finding the root causes of fibroids. The following modalities are effective in treating fibroids: acupuncture and Chinese herbs, naturopathy, homeopathy, Western herbal medicine, and chiropractic.

Boy, is that not a recipe for death? Snake oil is alive and well, and practiced by the Democrat party. And by the way, this poor woman was saved from having to pay $750 to russian hackers as a ransom for CryptoWall.