Manuel Aribe Croaked; Leaves Behind Fortune in Cheetos Powder

The world’s fattest and worthless human has finally died, but he left behind a virtual fortune in Cheetos Powder that the snackmaker has mined for its famous cheesy poof snack. BTW, you mine for the powder under his enormous tits. Yum.

From the AP here:

A Mexican man once listed as the world’s heaviest human being died Monday at the age of 48.

Manuel Uribe had slimmed down to about 867 pounds (394 kilograms), well below his then-record peak weight of 1,230 pounds (560 kilograms), which was certified in 2006 as a Guinness World Record.

Uribe had been confined to his bed in Monterrey for years, unable to walk on his own.

He had to be taken to the hospital with a crane by emergency and civil defense workers.

Uribe married Claudia Solis in 2008, and the wedding was one of the few times he left his home in recent years.

They would have cremated the fat bastard but city officials wouldn’t allow it for fear of a rampant grease fire.