Al Gore Calls Climate Change Skeptics Racists; Violent Alcoholics

Listening to a boring white dude who doesn’t understand science and speaks in cliche- I’ve spent 20 minutes picking apart this retarded Al Gore video so you won’t have to. I started listening at 2:30-

“Climate change needs to have a single focus and is the biggest challenge we face.” Translation: “I’m right dammit, and this is a crisis, and no alternate viewpoints will be indulged!”

2:55
“People think about air temperature and weather. 90% of heat that is trapped sinks way deep in the ocean and comes back later.” Translation: The warming is like a magic trick- it gets absorbed into the ocean where no one can detect I’m lying. And despite “heat” circulating deeply, it never cools off! Its like eating a bean burrito and then farting!”

3:15
“Its a complex system with a lot of inertia!” Translation: Even I don’t understand this shit! Inertia sounds like a scientific word, let’s use that!”

3:20
“Corny cliche metaphor about turning a ship around!” Translation: “In my world, boats can’t turn.”

3:35
“Last year was the hottest year evah!” Translation: “I gotta keep telling this lie until someone believes me.”

4-5 Minutes
“Lets make up some facts.” “Translation: “Lets make up some facts. It was a thousand degrees in the Sudan!”

4:50
“The Boulder Colorado flood disaster was brought on by climate change!” Translation: “Greedy Oil companies are the Devil! I hope my champagne and hooker is still ready for me on my private jet.”

5:15
“Wildfires? Yep that’s Climate Change too. Hello???! Superstorm Sandy!” Translation: “Natural disasters make me LOL.”

5:35
“Sea ice melted, but somehow water got warmer and it makes the air do swirlies!” Translation: “I hope no one asks me to cite my sources!”

6:00
“Let me explain how a bathtub drains.” Translation: “I can’t believe I get paid tens of thousands to keynote liberal confabs like this!”

6:30
“When it rains the water comes from 2000 kilometers away, riding in on laserbeam unicorns!” Translation: “I wish I paid attention in Junior High Earth Sciences and knew how precipitation worked.”

6:55
“Mother Nature is speaking loudly and clearly.” Translation: “Gaia, dat BITCH!!! DIAF!!”

7:10
“The Denialists will poo poo the IPCC report! They will make false claims!” Translation: “Skeptics use tricky things like facts and math and real science. I like my bathtub theory better. That’s not a false claim, and neither is the Boulder flash flood being caused by Global Warming!”

7:30
There is a political tipping point now made up of anecdotal hearsay by old people who don’t remember weather in the past!” Translation: “Keep voting Democrat.”

7:50
“Number of people in harm’s way by melting ice caps is increasing!” Translation: “You sheeple can’t possibly adapt if this shit were real.”

8:00
“The amount of CO2 dumped into the air traps more heat than 400000 Hiroshima Atomic Bombs per day!” Translation: “Republicans are nuking the world 400000 times a day! Even I can’t believe I said this shit with a straight face!”

8:55
“The oceans are acidic!” Translation: “Good thing we can’t measure acidity over time in the ocean!”

9:00 to 10:00
“This is my sales pitch for my climate alarmism companies.” Translation: “Please invest suckers!”

9:50
“I fly around the world. A LOT.” Translation: “Have you heard about my carbon offset swindle schemes?”

10:15 to 10:45
INSERT SLOGANEERING PROPAGANDA VIDEO HERE

11:00
“We have a political and economic model.” Translation: “Let’s stop the engine of the world, you know, for the lulz!”

11:30
“We have to put a price on carbon. We have to put a price on DENIAL!” Translation: “We are going to hunt you deniers down if we maintain political and economic power.”

11:40
“Corporations are like Big Tobacco. They must pay.” Translation: “How dare companies make a profit?!”

12:20
“Oil and Coal companies are liars. Let’s bankrupt them with regulations and fines.” Translation: “I will laugh at you sheeple riding your bikes while I fly my private jet.”

13:10
“Companies treat the sky like an open sewer.” Translation: “CO2, a naturally occurring gas, is just like poop and pee.”

13:15
“Companies are spreading cholera. Because OPEN SEWERS!” Translation: “Lets also slut shame oil companies. Scarlet letter and all that.”

13:45
“Pasteur fixed Cholera. I’m gonna be the Global Warming Pasteur!” Translation: “I’m so awesome with this cult-like following.”

15:00
“Global warming is causing diseases to migrate on the winds, I reckon.” Translation: “Keep pouring on the fearmongering! I think this shit is working!”

15:25
“We are bringing people together from all over the world!” Translation: “Like minded good socialist lefties will tell us what to do!”

15:55
“Remember the civil rights issue from the 60’s? Translation: “I hope no one remembers that my Dad voted against that whole black people being equal nuttery!”

16:20
“Two gay guys are sharing a pizza.” Translation: “Go go Gadget pandering!”

16:40
“Don’t let disagreement over facts dissuade our arguments! It’s like an alcoholic father!” Translation: “Daddy spanked me when he drank bourbon.”

17:00
“Tell Climate deniers they are racists, homophobes and drunks!” Translation: “To stop the debate you must shut them up with ludicrous accusations.”

17:45
“Racists poo pooed the space race too. We conquered the moon. We can conquer climate change.” Translation: “They used science to get to the moon. We can use alarmism and accusations of racism to beat the climate battle.”

Wow, that was painful to get through. The stupid and the applauding sheeple. It burns.