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Michael Douglas Claims That Eating a Mountain of Pussy Gave Him Throat Cancer

The headline basically says it all. Here is the story. Douglas, who was a sex addict, claims that eating skanky chicks with HPV or Human PapillomaVirus- or genital warts, caused him to have throat cancer. It should be noted that this news was released just after Douglas deep-kissed Matt Damon for the HBO movie about Liberace.

damonwarts

I participated in some epic twitter mockery:

Dr. Jones

Do not talk about fight club. Oops.

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