Lesbians, Why You So Drunk?

In a follow-up to a previous post about the Government spending millions to figure out why lesbians are so fat, they are also spending gobs of taxpayer cash to figure out why so many lesbians are raging alcoholics. I’m guessing that since most lesbians are damned ugly, it takes more than eight beers to get the beer-goggles on, but that might be too simplistic.

From WashTimes here:

Since 2009, the University of Illinois has been receiving federal grants for a study called, “Cumulative Stress and Hazardous Drinking in a Community of Adult Lesbians.” A description of the grant states,

“Studies using both probability and nonprobability samples provide ample evidence of lesbians’ vulnerability to hazardous drinking. However, very little is known about the factors that increase lesbians’ risk for hazardous drinking. We propose to build on and extend our study of sexual identity and drinking…to model effects of cumulative stress on hazardous drinking among lesbians.”

Doesn’t this make it a little more difficult to take our elected officials seriously when they babble on about how the teeniest funding cuts constitute the end of life as we know it?

Given the fugly-to-average dating pool among lesbians, coupled with the fact that most of them are self-loathing, unhappy, and doomed to never fulfill their biological purpose of producing a child, it is no wonder they drink to get blitzed. Life without a purpose is tough to come to grips with.