He Be Rollin’; Cops Be Hatin’

It takes a special kind of genius to get drunk and carjack a Wal-Mart Fat-Scooter® for a joyride. The Fat-Scooter is the special go-kart they let fatties ride at the local Wal-Mart, and despite being handi-capable, these fatties prefer to shop sitting down. Well Tommy Phillip thought it would be awesome to drink a case of Schlitz and take one of these on a slow-mo joyride down the county freeway while towing a pal in a wheelchair.

From WWL here:

Houma Police got a call about a man driving a motorized scooter on South Van Avenue, pulling a wheel chair behind it. When they arrived, they found 24-year-old Thomas J. Phillip operating the scooter, and a friend of his riding in the wheelchair.

Phillip told them he had been at the WalMart on Grand Calliou Road, and decided to take the scooter for a “joy ride.” Police say it was at that point they arrested Phillip. Phillip performed poorly when they administered a field sobriety test and a breathalyzer gave a result of 0.179. Police booked Phillip on a charge of theft and operating a vehicle while intoxicated.

Houma Police say the friend riding in the wheelchair was released without incident.

Seriously? DUI on a Wal-Mart Chub-Glider? At least his buddy was able to plead his innocence. The whole scenario reminds me of this incident: