Magic Johnson Just Won’t Die of the HIV

My wife is perpetually pissed that Magic Johnson still draws a breath. You really can’t blame her- she lost her Mom to HIV when she was 12. In a world where she can’t have a Mom and Magic Johnson sleeps with thousands of Basketball Groupies and gets the HIV and lives? Cosmically unjust. And apparently loads of people on Twitter agree with her.

And you know, I’m not gonna lie. When I saw that Magic Johnson was trending on twitter, I thought cosmic justice had just realigned with another celebrity death. But not so. All I know is that the Magic in Magic Johnson is AIDS-proof.