The Biggest News From Yesterday: Herpes Monkey Eaten by Tiger!

Sure some tinhorn dictator was blown away in an epic insurrection, but did you hear about the animal hoarder who let all of his wild bears, lions, tigers and monkeys loose before shooting himself in the face? One of those animals- a monkey, had a raging case of herpes, but its okay- the tiger ate that STD monkey before it could rape the population of Dayton, Ohio.

From the Brisbane times here:

At last count a team of Ohio cops led by Sheriff Matt Lutz had bagged 49 animals, including two wolves, six black bears, two grizzly bears, 18 Bengal tigers, three mountain lions, nine lions, eight lionesses and one baboon.

A monkey, thought to be suffering from herpes is unaccounted for, but may have been eaten by a lion.

The animals were released on Tuesday from a private zoo in suburban Zanesville by their owner who then killed himself. Three leopards, a grizzly bear and two monkeys were taken alive.

That monkey was easy to catch and eat because it was humping a sheep at the time.