Nic Cage is Lazarus

The Bible says that it is “appointed unto man once to die, and after this the judgement.” So this means that when Jesus resurrected Lazarus from the dead, he cursed him to wander the world until judgement day comes. And I think that man is Nic Cage.

The photo on the right is from a civil war era of an unidentified man. That photo is below. On the EBay auction site, the photo is described:

.1870 carte de visite showing a man who looks exactly like Nick Cage. Personally, I believe it’s him and that he is some sort of walking undead / vampire, et cetera, who quickens / reinvents himself once every 75 years or so. 150 years from now, he might
be a politician, the leader of a cult, or a talk show host.

This photo was found in the very back of album that contained an unusual number of
Civil War era death portraits (which is why I purchased it). All of the other people in the album, living and dead, were identified by name – this man was not.

You’d think that in 2000 years, Lazarus would have learned how to freakin’ act. Oh, and the picture is being sold for a million simoleons.