Helpful Advice for Vegan Bill Clinton

Bill Clinton announced that he is now a strict vegan, mostly not because it causes weight loss, but because his cholesterol is around 780, which would be great for a credit score, but not for a cholesterol level. So he went veg. So as a service to the newly veganized and girlishly slim former President, womanizer and convicted perjurer, here is some helpful advice from his friends at the Animal Liberation Front, a home grown terrorist outfit, known for bombing animal testing labs and for terrorizing scientists:

And lulz, by the way how the banner shows terrorists in ski masks cuddling bunnies!

Is Oral Sex Vegan?

Oral sex is vegan even though it may involve putting flesh in your mouth, as it shouldn’t really involve any cruelty or exploitation, and said flesh is taken out again eventually and returned to its rightful owner. If you decide to swallow any bodily liquids, well, once again, no one else has suffered to provide them, so it’s up to you… I doubt if anyone has done very much research on the health aspects of this, though.

After all, as Bill Clinton told all of today’s youth, eatin’ ain’t cheatin’, amIright? And its not likely that Ol’ Billy will be dating any vegan interns anyways, and I recall he liked them portly. But I think its a safe bet that Bill will be staying away from Hillary’s snatch. It looks like a petrified Pastrami on Rye with all those flaps and knotty bumps anyways.