Hilarious Google Reviews of Area 51
Thinking of hiding out in the desert to look for Aliens? Not too sure what to expect in terms of staffing and accomodations? Will you get breakfast? Google’s Reviews can help!
From GoogleMaps here:
Nov 21, 2010 FANTASTIC. THE BEST VACATION SPOT FOR ANY UNDOCUMENTED NON-HUMAN. STAFF IS KIND AND WILL NOT DISSECT YOU. IN FACT, THE COMPLEX IS SO SAFE THAT YOU’RE BETTER OFF LEAVING ALL DEFENSIVE EQUIPMENT AT HOME–OR DEACTIVATED IN YOUR UNLOCKED VEHICLE, WITH THE OPERATING MANUAL NEARBY. AREA IS SO SAFE THAT YOU COULD LEAVE YOUR UNLOCKED VEHICLE UNCLOAKED AND EASILY ACCESSIBLE TO TWO METER TALL LIFE FORMS IN PROTECTIVE GEAR. IT IS REALLY SO SAFE THAT I RECOMMEND LEAVING YOUR LAUNCH KEY OR IGNITION MODULE IN THE NAV CONSOLE. JUST LEAVE THE ENGINE RUNNING WHILE YOU’RE AT IT. I ALSO HEARD THERE IS A DISCOUNT IF YOU BRING ANY OFFSPRING OR COMPANIONS WHO EXHIBIT DIFFERENT PHENOTYPE TRAITS THAN YOURSELF. THEY WILL NOT BE DISSECTED TO COMPARE GENETIC DIVERSITY IN YOUR SPECIES. I CANNOT WAIT TO VISIT AGAIN. THIS IS POSSIBLE BECAUSE I AM ALIVE AND NOT DISSECTED WITH MY ORGANS ON DISPLAY IN A RESEARCH COMPOUND.
Nov 21, 2010 Whatever you do, do not write a negative review of this place while staying there. Turns out, they totally know what Hotels.com is, and they will not hesitate to impregnate you with a predalien.
Nov 21, 2010 I came here as a recommendation from techcorner dot com. They recommended it because the people were friendly. Only problem was that they did not let me leave. 6 out of 16 people found this review helpful.
Nov 21, 2010 I would give a good rating but I don’t remember my visit. 37 out of 41 people found this review helpful. Was this review helpful?
Nov 21, 2010 Great hotel, great resort. Best holidays with ET ever 1 out of 13 people found this review helpful. Was this review helpful?
Nov 20, 2010 I came here in response to an intergalactic ad promising a “Mork and Mindy” lifestyle. The ad is total BS. The summers are unbearable, the welcome committee favors anal probing, and I still can’t find Kevin OR my spaceship. Worst trip evar.
Nov 14, 2010 Poor customer service. I came here for a summer holiday with the kids, planning to tour the area, along with a few weeks in las vegas; but upon arrival to the area we were “Greeted” by about 20 armed men and a strange lump that appeared to be Hillary Clinton. They were NOT very polite and threatened to kill us! We demanded that we be shown to our room but were disgusted to find that it had already been taken… This ruined our holiday, and I am confident to say that I’m never returning here again… Strongly NOT RECCOMENDED.
Nov 14, 2010 Spaceship TOWED Never park your spaceship nearby. I had a permit (and was legally parked), and they still towed! Not only that, but they refused to return it to me. Now I have no way to get back to my native planet Xenu. Not only that, but now I have to use my remote plasma impulse communicator to tell my friend Nom-Nark, and minutes are VERY expensive in this quadrant. Absolutely ridiculous.
Crossing this destination off my vacation list.
