Obama Nominates Patton Oswalt to the Supreme Court

How fantastic that the voice of Ratatouille will be the new voice on America’s highest court? This week President Obama nominated actor/comedian Patton Oswalt to the nation’s highest court. He might not have any judicial experience, but his verdicts would have the benefit of at least being funny. Wait, what? This is not Patton Oswalt?

That is just some fat ugly chick with a double chin and a receding hairline? Wait, Patton Oswalt has more judicial experience? This chubby burrito smuggler isn’t even funny? Damn you Obama, I thought you did something cool there for just a second.

Watch out America. Wanna know how this she-beast is a blazing liberal loon? Besides the fact that all ugly chicks are leftists? The press is calling her a “centrist.” That means she is a hippie tree hugger who hates America.

How can this woman be a supreme court judge? She can’t even judge when to stop pouring sour cream on her Wendy’s chili. At least if she’s confirmed, she will finally have to wear a garment that resembles a dress.