Would Aliens Eat the Fatties First?

A gym ad in the UK has fat people feeling upset, and to ease their pain they are probably swallowing those feelings along with a half-pint of Ben and Jerry’s. Ah who am I kidding, its a whole pint.

The ad is amusing because its offensive, but also because it draws so much attention. Also, the only people that it is socially acceptible to discriminate against are smokers and fat folk. I only make fun of fat Indians because that’s just wrong. If any of them come to me for a job, I tell them to go be fat somewhere else.

But I’m not too sure that the ad is accurate from the standpoint of someone who is into fine cuisine. I mean think about it. You don’t go to the grocery store to buy the fattest cuts of meat you can find. You get the large muscle groups that come from leaner animals. Wouldn’t the aliens go for the large well-built jocks? Or women with firm thighs? (YEAH!) In fact, the gymnasiums would be prime targets for alien abductions. The best specimens who are pretty tired from working out and can’t sufficiently flee the abduction beam.

I think the Earth fatties would be saved for the darker skinned aliens with the funny accents who had to travel to Earth in the broke-down public interstellar mass transit UFOs that smelled like alien armpits.

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