I Won’t Be Seeing Avatar

God bless the movie critics.  They are like crash test dummies for my brain’s exposure to Hollywood claptrap.  Debbie Schlussel finally put out her review on Avatar, and I was right.  It’s a combination of Dances with Wolves and the Smurfs, with a heavy dose of anti-Americanism.

From Debbie’s site:

 Clocking in at nearly three hours, “Avatar” is an incredible waste of time. It’s essentially a remake of “Dances With Wolves” and every other movie where we evil Americans terrorize the indigenous natives, kill them, take their land, and are just all around imperialistically wicked and inhumane. Oh, and we’re destroying the environment, clearing precious giant trees and natural landscapes and killing rare animals and their habitats, in order to invade and harvest valuable substances under the ground. Sound familiar? Yup, just like a million diatribes from Daily Kos, Democratic Underground, and every other far-left outlet about how we invaded Iraq for oil.

Yes, “Avatar” is cinema for the hate America crowd.

And, like “Dances With Wolves,” there is, of course, the standard stock White male and/or human character who “becomes one of them” and sympathizes with their plight, begging the evil humans–or evil Americans, take your pick–to stop the invasion, destruction, and wholesale theft. It’s been in a million movies you’ve seen.

And the 3D isn’t as great as people are saying, either. Smurf-like natives made to look like overgrown American Indians, complete with warpaint, mohawks, and long ponytails (that have computer-like USB cable tendrils in them, which can communicate with nature–ludicrous). Does that sound like earth-shattering stuff to you? They looked like Jar Jar Binks with arrowheads.

So the blue Pandora people are more Injun than Indians with a real ability to talk to trees and flowers. Not at all like all that fake Spirit Guide hokum and sweat lodges the remnants of that race like to peddle to stupid leftist white folk. What an eco-worshipping paradise Pandora represents! Puh-leeze. Its so anti-American its bound to win best picture at the Oscars.