“Gay” Penguin Pair Splits Up; Prefers Breeding With Females

(Read this story using Morgan Freeman’s voice in your head- it just sounds better.) Gays and liberals in and around San Francisco have been hailing Harry and Pepper, the gay penguins, as proof-positive that gayness is completely natural and not a choice. After all, if homosexuality occurs in nature among lower life forms, then there could be no denying that human homosexuality is completely natural and expected behavior. The penguins were given an egg by the zookeepers and the couple hatched it to the tears of joy among the liberal elite.

Last year the paper ran a story about the stupid penguins for Valentine’s Day. But there is trouble in gay paradise. Linda the penguin’s mate died last year and now Linda and Harry are nesting and mating.

From UPI here:

Linda the penguin has split up two male penguins who lived as a nesting couple for six years at the San Francisco Zoo, caretakers said.

Male penguins Harry and Pepper had been so content together they were allowed to incubate and hatch an egg laid by another Magellanic penguin last year, zookeeper Anthony Brown said.

“Of all of the parents that year, they were the best. They took very good care of their chick,” Brown told the San Francisco Examiner in a story published Saturday.

Enter the widow Linda, who began courting Harry in her partner’s old burrow shortly after his death this past winter, Brown said.

“To be completely anthropomorphizing, Linda seems conniving,” Brown said. “She’s got her plan. I don’t think she was wanting to be a single girl for too long.”

So be sure to note how this story was told- The gay male penguin didn’t choose on his own to not be gay anymore. He was pursued by a conniving female.

And if the gay penguins were the best parents, why didn’t the zookeepers take away all of the penguin chicks from the normal couples and let the gay couple raise the brood?

This whole story took a more tragic turn this morning when two walruses captured Pepper the penguin and beat him up and left him tied to a fence for three days near the ocelot pen. Ang Lee began filming Brokeback Penguin this morning based on the lovelife of the penguins.