Hilarious Tale of Bunny Hoarder Miriam Sakewitz
I saw this woman’s mug shot on Drudge Report and started researching her background story about how she has had many confrontations with police over her obsession with giving cute and fuzzy bunnies hugs til they die. It sounds something like “Awww,” **squish**. At one point Sakewitz had 200 live bunnies in her home and a hundred dead bunnies in her freezers. But that’s not the crazy part.
All of the articles about Sakewitz have been placed on a single page here in the Oregonian. Read it all if you’d like, but here are the kooky parts:
…the smell of feces and ammonia coming from the ranch house on a cul-de-sac west of the Hillsboro Airport was overpowering.
One of Sakewitz’s neighbors said he agreed to help her install security cameras in her living room. She said she needed them to monitor the rabbits because someone was coming inside and killing them.
“When the wind was right it smelled like the county fair,” said the neighbor, who refused to give his name, saying he feared retribution.
Who would fear retribution from a crazed bunny hoarder? Of course no one was coming in to kill the bunnies; they were dying of neglect, and Sakewitz was too stupid and crazy to figure that out.
For months, more than 200 rabbits were kept under lock and key in an undisclosed location — evidence in one of Oregon’s largest animal neglect cases. Then one night, a chain-link fence was cut, a steel door was pried open and 130 of the bunnies were gone. Police quickly zeroed in on the rabbits’ original owner: Miriam E. Sakewitz.
She had been ordered not to be near bunnies, but Crazy bunny bitch is determined and possesses superhuman strength! So they went to arrest her and found:
In her car, police said, they found nine live rabbits, one dead rabbit and a gold fish in a fish bowl.
“Awwww,” **squish.**
Two days before the bunnies disappeared, Sakewitz repeatedly asked if police would return 75 of her favorites.
“Man, I’m hurting! I gotta have some bunnies, I gotta have them!”
The cops were forced to house all of these stupid rabbits while the courts sorted things out. At first, they just put them all in one large pen.
Tended by volunteers, they were fed, cushioned with hay and after a brief period of unexpected mating, separated by sex.
The cops kept trying to give away the bunnies and were planning on a big Super Bowl Sunday adoption extravaganza that was canceled at the last minute, because, in addition to super powers, the Crazy Bunny Bitch also had a really good lawyer. But finally she was convicted and ordered by a judge to not go within 100 yards of a bunny. If that’s not the dumbest legal ruling ever I don’t know what is.
She has been arrested twice more for possessing bunnies, and of course this last time, she was barricaded in a hotel room and the freakin’ cops had to bust the door down. There were 14 bunnies in there with her and of course, one dead one. “Awwwww,” **squish**
