Eco-Religionists Now Insist That You Recycle Your Fingernails

I have documented how environmentalists are obsessed with their own body waste. Now as more proof, the Discovery Channel’s Planet Green website is insisting that if you are into recycling, and you know that eco-religionists are, then you are a filthy hypocrite who is going to carbon-spewing hell is you don’t collect all of your fingernail clippings and use them to wash your pots and pans!

From Planetgreen here with thanks to Moonbattery:

Fingernail recycling. The very topic may be unseemly to some, understandably enough. I can see how the very thought of collecting your old grungy fingernails could be off-putting to even the most ardent environmentalist. But it’s just like any other natural body byproduct, really—just a little heavier on the keratin. And they need to be recycled too.

Run out of steel wool, but still have pots and pans encrusted with impossibly hardened food bits? No matter—create your own pot scrubber by collecting your fingernail clips and emptying them into the foot of some discarded pantyhose. Tie it off, and Voila! An instant, free, only mildly repulsive pot scrubber is yours.

So now you know not to eat off of plates washed by hippies.  As if their cuisine of scrawny, bacteria-infested organic food would be appetizing anyways.

So what will these losers eco-freaks decide to recycle next?  Boogers?  Semen?  How about those lonely curly pubes on the urinals across America?  Those curly pee-soaked hairs aren’t gonna recycle themselves you eco-sinners!