No iPhone? Get a Big Ass Table Instead

I know I’m a little late to the Microsoft Table parody video, so here it is. The people who made this video actually kinda-sorta wanted one, but it was extremely expensive and a little impractical. But when you think about it, they raise a lot of valid issues about advanced technology, such as the further suppression of human interaction, or lack of attention to children.

Now along those same lines about technology that you don’t really need comes this new technology from MIT that tries to integrate your own personal preferences and META information into a “sixth sense” technology to help you pick out the most environmentally friendly toilet paper or let you know that your flight is delayed just by looking at an airline ticket. And most annoyingly, this technology retrieves META information from a person’s facebook or online bio page and displays it to you upon greeting the person.

Really Cool, New Sixth-Sense Technology – Watch more Funny Videos

So instead of making eye contact, shaking hands and making personal introductions, you stand there mutely and read his uninteresting likes and dislikes and his current job status. This technology will try to make living people in a real world into avatars of a virtual world. The technology is cool, but useless and unnecessary. Its adopters will already be socially retarded from years of IM and texting messages to people instead of interacting with them, and this will be one more way to help people avoid personal interactions.

Also, the META information will be easily spoofed. Instead of seeing “Brian Myers, student” as a piece of META, the information will display “14-Inch cock,” and will list his stats in World of Warcraft. It may even project his own online avatar over his real life body. And it will make it easier to pick out the nerds in a crowd for women to summarily ignore them.