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Reason 949 to HomeSchool: Cross-Eyed Social Studies Teacher Won’t Bang Your Daughter in Her Car

Meet Melissa Koehn. She was busted by the cops in Minnesota dry humping one of her students in her car. Its not what you would expect from a social studies teacher and girls’ basketball coach at a Christian private school, unless you are a regular reader of this blog, in which case, this doesn’t surprise you a bit.

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The video is added mostly for the lulz because this thread is now epic.

From the Weekly Vice here:

Melissa Diana Koehn, a 30-year-old teacher and coach at St. Croix Lutheran High School in West St. Paul, Minnesota has been arrested on felony sex charges of 4th-degree criminal sexual conduct after a police officer discovered her making out with a 17-year-old female student in a ‘fully reclined’ position inside a parked vehicle.

Koehn and the student each admitted to having sexual contact, beginning in August, 2008. The relationship then continued, leading to multiple instances of sexual contact between Koehn and the student.

The student’s parents admitted to authorities that the teacher had slept in their daughter’s room on a number of occasions, but believed Koehn slept on the floor. They told authorities they were unaware of any sexual activity that had occurred.

What the hell is wrong with the parents of the student?  Never let anyone, much less a teacher share a bedroom with your kids.  The parents should have all of their kids put in a foster home because they are too stupid to be allowed to raise kids.

According to a Google search of the school’s website, this picture shows a group of kids who went to the Dominican Republic on a field trip.  I don’t know if any of the girls in the photo are the victim in this case, but if the victim was indeed taken out of the country for the purposes of sex, more charges should be filed.

After all, the best way to get the school to pay for a romantic getaway for a perverted teacher and her sexcrime victim would be to have the girl take her Social Studies class.  Oh sure, the official cover was that they were going to the Dominican Republic to teach Vacation Bible School and do a “mission outreach.”  But instead of teaching bible verses, Koehn was busy seducing her student.

Dr. Jones

Do not talk about fight club. Oops.

105 thoughts on “Reason 949 to HomeSchool: Cross-Eyed Social Studies Teacher Won’t Bang Your Daughter in Her Car

  • Oh yeah, you guys have the world’s first lesbian basketball child molesting coach to ever spontaneously have a Jesus fit that makes her lick vaginas of her students. Either that or she is just like every other child molesting teacher who carefully plans her crime.

    Catholics have the immaculate conception. You Lutherans have the Immaculate Cunnilingus. What a miracle, you should be proud. Keep protecting the criminal you guys.

  • After numerous requests I have finally edited this blog post. To add a great YouTube video.

  • fischman101

    we are not protecting the criminal you whiny dork. none of us have said what she did was ok or that she shouldn’t get punished we just think you could be a little more respectful in the whole matter and not assume so much.

  • No CJ, you don’t believe a crime even happened. You said above:

    And dont think of it as rape, this situation was consentual and i specifically have talked with the victim.

    That is taking the criminal’s side in this. Do you have much experience talking to victims of child molestation? Is that a class they teach at your school? You have right confused with wrong so badly you should probably go see a counselor yourself and get your priorities straightened out.

  • fischman101

    yes i said all of that and id say it again. I didn’t say i dont think a crime happened in fact i’ve said that she did commit a crime several times and that she should be punished! but you fail to understand that. obviously! none of the people above have said that. and dont go assuming so either. we all recognize that wrong was done and justice needs to be served. what isn’t necessary is your opinion and rude comments about the trip and those invovled… and posting that information that weve requested formaly and informaly to be taken down. You have your theories confused with fact so badly that you should probably see a counselor yourself to understand fact from fiction.

  • jess buller

    You’re a pedafile who probably goes searching for random sex crimes in his spare time, which is probably alot of time since it doesn’t really look like you have much of a life. Your fighting with people you don’t even know because you like to feel like your right all the time, probably because you have no self esteem and this is the only way you can get some confidence. But seriously your a dumbass. See? we can all assume, only my assumption is probably alot more accurate than yours. bitch.

  • Hey, we have a worse speller than Loba from the Dominican. Keep fighting for criminal sex offenders. Real classy.

  • jess buller

    yes i am a bad speller..sorry God didn’t grant me the gift of spelling which apparently he gave you..but he did give me the gift of forgiveness and understanding which neither of them you have. take it up with Jesus not with innocent highschoolers who did nothing wrong.

  • moltenlava

    You do realize, Pat, how incredibly pathetic you’re sounding. You are now attacking people personally for stupid mistakes when you should be addressing the arguments made in the posts. I can only imagine that you are grasping at straws right now in a desperate attempt to retain your precious self-image of yourself as the infallible blogger. We all make mistakes, buddy. You just gotta admit it and back down.

  • Hey moltenlava,
    I don’t see how I am “attacking students.”
    And I fail to see how I have made any mistakes in my post about Melissa Koehn dry humping one of her students. I have criticized those that have tried to defend her as being, either blameless in the act, or to be so naive as to think she didn’t plan her crime.

  • And Jess Buller,
    Are you proud of how hypocritical you sound calling people “bitch” and “pedafile” and then talking about how you are into Jesus and forgiveness? You find it in your heart to forgive child molesters who prey on students under the guise of being a mentor, a christian, and a trusted friend, but you harshly criticize anyone that points out the crime?

  • fischman101

    ….. you think your pointing out a crime? ha ha ha i cant stop laughing. all of the points youve stood on have been disproven. Its funny to think your doing a service… we dont need your help to realize a crime was commited infact everyone here understands that. Weve tried to criticize you politely but after things youve said on this webpage certain lines need to be crossed. again understand you made a mistake or dont simply respect the fact of how little you know in this situation and once again… Grow up

  • CJ,
    I started out pointing out a crime. Now I am pointing out the blatant hypocrisy of school kids who are willing to gloss over a sex crime.

  • Jess Buller

    get my name out of here! what is your problem?

  • bichonlova

    Our beef with you as not that you are pointing out a crime. We agree with you that she did an awful thing. I disagree with you in the fact that you think you know it was planned. Some things aren’t planned. They just happen. You don’t KNOW that it was planned. Know one will ever know.

    Our beef with this post, our number one point that we’re all trying to get at, is that you do not need to involve the people on the trip, and you do not need to say that the trip was in any way worse off because Ms. Koehn was on it. Why did you have to involve the innocent people? This post could have simply been a post about Ms. Koehn and her wrongdoing and no one would have had a problem with it. Just like no one has a problem with news articles online. But since you had to involve teenagers who were in no way involved or wished to be involved in this post, we have a problem with what you wrote.

  • Bichonlova,
    It has been established early in the comments that the students have said nothing sexual happened on the trip. However, the fact remains that a child molester teacher traveled outside the country with schoolchildren. Its an object lesson about why parents should homeschool.

    And had this been a male teacher who molested a male student, I would have ended the original post with this instead:

    …the official cover was that they were going to the Dominican Republic to teach Vacation Bible School and do a “mission outreach.” But instead of Mission Outreach, Koehn was busy giving a “Reach Around.”

  • Jess Buller,

    I didn’t like the name you were commenting under, so I fixed it for you. You’re welcome.

  • This is a great article here that talks about teachers that violate boundaries continuously until they end up committing sexual assault. And while it speaks about a more recent and much worse case involving a little boy, it still pertains to Melissa Koehn’s behavior leading up to the sexcrime.

    http://www.patriotledger.com/opinions/x818496415/Male-abuse-victims-suffer-from-crime-and-stereotype

    Ms. Koehn probably shared lots of hugs and hand holding during prayer time or counseling sessions, and tried so hard to be a friend to students she forgot to be a teacher.

  • bichonlova

    Wow. you’re hopeless

  • fischman

    ah aha ha ha you pointed out a crime well i wonder who gave you that right and i dont think that saying koehn was “dry humping one of her students” or insulting the girls parents “they are too stupid to be allowed to raise kids.” you even assume things about the trip! “But instead of teaching bible verses, Koehn was busy seducing her student.” wierd i can use quotes too! amazing. I will say it again because you seem to be missing the point. we arent glossing over the crime were simply bringing the truth out. You may think you are doing the same but i assure you that you are severly confused. And this incident is different than all of the other rape posts youve blogged on. (which there are alot of, i’d be a bit worried.) First of all, the girl was at a consentual age of 17. WE (YOU AND I) do not know if any sex occured and all you know about the dominican trip is that she was there. From what i’m seeing so far she is a better person than you are. Yes, youre worse than a child molestor. youve brought it on yourself so dont get upset with me.

  • CJ,
    As far as who gave me the right to point out a crime, that would be the Constitution, Amendment 1 to be exact. And yes, the victim’s parents are too stupid to be allowed to raise kids. You don’t invite adults to have sleepovers with your kid.

    As far as sex goes, Koehn admitted to the police that she had sexual contact with the underage student, so it is a matter of fact, not conjecture on my part.

    And if your parents pay good money to send you to a private school and now that you are nearing graduation, you still can’t make distinctions of right versus wrong between someone writing on the internet and a child molester, then your parents should ask for their money back because the school has failed them.

    It failed them twice. It allowed a child molester to transport students overseas and failed to teach you between right and wrong.

    I certainly doubt that your skewed outlook on things is indicative of the school as a whole and the other students there. From what I can tell St. Croix is a great school.

  • fischman

    Oh thank you.. thank you so much for telling me how wrong i am and once again not understanding what were trying to say. I never said you couldn’t point out a crime i just dont think its right for you to insinuate as much as you have. Sexual contact is different than claiming that there was dryhumping… so yes you conjectured. Dont tell me that my distinctions of right versus wrong are skewed! You still dont understand that i agree with the fact that she should be punished. I agree that the teacher shouldn’t have slept in the same room, but you fail to see that i think that such serious matters such as these should be handled with more care and caution. No outside tool should make such blatant claims. I certainly doubt that your black and white outlook on life doesn’t make you a bad person.

  • I cannot believe the pathetic grammar from these students. Is English the second language for all of them? Fischman, have you ever been taught how to conjugate? The grammatical conjugation – not the social studies, after hours version. How did you possibly get past middle school?

    I am more offended by your grammar than your idiotic defense of a child molester. EVERY “good” thing that teacher did is now tainted with her molestation, including your precious Dominican trip. You went with a child molester to help spread the word of Jesus. Congrats. The suggestion that the victim was not on the trip somehow makes the trip not relevant is simply incorrect. The trip, along with every other action involving that teacher should be examined and questioned. If it makes you sad that you were on that trip and you think it did “oh so much good” – sorry. Your trip had a child molester in charge.

  • fischman

    Cool! now we resort to talking about grammar. Wierd transition but ok. Thank you for letting me know once again how much of a failure i am. You must truly care about the future of america to be pointing out such wrongs. (please revise any of my future typings! i’d greatly appreciate it!) Yes, ive also worshiped with a childmolester, i’ve gone to church with ex-cons and I have worshiped with some of the lowest of the low. Youre point is? Jesus Christ himself even said that he would rather talk dine with prostitutes than the religious leaders of his time! Yes the fact that the victim was not on the trip does make it irrelevant. Yes her past should be examined but nothing has come up, no one else has stepped forward, and you cannot assume that any wrong doings occured on the trip. Also, i think we did do good on that trip. We VBSed we VBSed in a foreign language we VBSed to those who needed it most. (oh boy no commas!!!) One thing i know for certain is that we did more good than pat is doing by posting his colorful story about something he has no understanding of. So sorry- Just cause you have some misplaced sense of high-and-mightyness doesn’t really make you any better than me. (or the child molester) te he 😀

  • Resort to talking about grammar? Your grammar is honestly horrific, and reading your posts is simply painful. One cannot help but wonder what the teachers were doing in your school. We know Ms Koehn was looking for lost little girls to befriend. I wonder what your english teacher was doing, because he or she failed completely at teaching you to write. In an adult world, expressing your opinions with proper grammar actually has an effect on how seriously your opinions are considered. Put that stupid bible down and pick up this book instead:

    http://www.grammarbook.com/grammar_book.asp

    “Yes the fact that the victim was not on the trip does make it irrelevant.”

    Wrong. As I said before, everything that involved Ms. Koehn should be examined, especially a trip that took minors outside the country in her care. That is the crux of the original post here, and that is correct. Her actions need to be examined. If you are so outraged that Pat has maligned (you can look up the word later) your trip, might I suggest that your anger would be more properly placed at Ms. Koehn. She is the one that violated your trust and cast a shadow over your school and your trip.

    You talk of Jesus, but someone criticizes your grammar and you say I am no better than a child molester? “te he”. You seriously have no sense of right or wrong, up or down. You need to talk to your parents or to a counselor, and stop wasting your time scrawling nonsense on blogs. BTW – Jesus just told me you are wrong and I am right. Just thought you should know. And he said it in Dominican Spanish.

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