The Clown’s Prayer
While reading FARK, I came across this nugget that I thought was creepy and humorous- The Clown’s Prayer. It sounds like a ripoff of a 12-stepper’s prayer for strength to fight addiction.
So here’s the prayer, with my own comments sprinkled in blue.
The Clown’s Prayer
As I stumble through this life, (maybe your stupid shoes are too big!)
help me to create more laughter than tears, (Your scary clown antics make kids cry!)
dispense more cheer than gloom,
spread more cheer than despair.
Never let me become so indifferent,
that I will fail to see the wonders in the eyes of a child, (They wonder why the hell you are so freaky!)
or the twinkle in the eyes of the aged.
Never let me forget that total
effort is to cheer people,
make them happy, and forget momentarily,
all the unpleasantness in their lives. (Unpleasantness like scary ass clowns?)
And in my final moment, (May that come soon)
may I hear you whisper:
“When you made my people smile,
you made me smile.” (The morticians smiled when they tried to close the casket on those big clown feet)
So what do clowns really pray for before they disguise themselves with white paint and rainbow wigs? I don’t have the entire list, but I’m certain the following are on there:
- Please Lord, No background checks!
- Thankful for the bounty that white gloves hide fingerprints
- Please God, don’t let the parents smell the bourbon on my breath!
- Thank God helium isn’t flammable
- Many thanks that giraffe balloon animal looks like a penis.
Feel free to add your own to this list.
