Dodging Sniper Fire

When I got to work today I had to run into the office under a hail of sniper fire. And the parking garage was mined with explosives. To make matters worse, the coffee maker was booby trapped and Larry the Custodian tried to shiv me with a shank he made out of a dry erase marker. Ok, I made all that up. Does this qualify me to run for President?

Hillary is a pathological liar. Its the only explanation for making up such absurd statements about her trip to Bosnia, where she said she landed in her helicopter under sniper fire. She had Sinbad the Comedian and Sheryl “spare a square” Crow with her. I guess Bill Clinton thought it would be a good idea to send his wife into a war zone with a comedian and a tiny guitar player as her escort?