Otherkin Busted for Statutory Rape

Pennsylvania’s worst loser, Kristian Carl, was busted last week for doing the nasty with Pennsylvania’s second worst loser: a 15-year-old girl who believed Carl was a vampire/werewolf hybrid who had a magical dragon that protected him from evil.

Next to garlic, the worst thing you can do to a vampire is give it acne medication.

This tale of FAIL is brought to you by The Morning Call here:

A Pottsville man persuaded a 15-year-old girl that he was part werewolf and part vampire — before sexually assaulting her, police say.

Kristian Allen Carl, 19, was convinced he was a supernatural mixed-breed. To prove to police he was indeed a genuine vampire/werewolf, Carl “showed me his canine teeth,” Pottsville Police Sgt. James Joos said. “I let him know that all mammals, including humans, have canine teeth.”

Carl also told police he had a “guardian dragon that protected him from evil-doers.”

Carl was charged with statutory sexual assault after admitting he had sexual intercourse with the girl. Carl knew the girl’s age and was aware that he could “get in trouble” for having sex with a girl under age 16.

An “Otherkin” is any idiot who believes that they are part or a whole magical creature. Seriously, yiffing furries laugh at otherkin from the tops of their furpiles. For more on the subject, see ED here.

Where would nimrods ever get the idea that they are a magical creature? From the Internet of course, so you know Carl has a Myspace page right here.