John Edwards Withdraws From the Race

Too bad he didn’t withdraw from his skanky girlfriend. She is about to have their illicit love-baby, so that’s probably why John Edwards is really quitting.

Elizabeth Edwards is proud to have both cancer and a cheating husband.

Either that or he has to go inject more cancer into his wife so she will be ripe and rotten in time for the 2012 presidential race. He will announce his failure in New Orleans, the same place he announced his intentions to fail.