John Edwards Knocks Up Whores

Still angry that Ann Coulter called him a faggot, Presidential Hopeful John Edwards has been spraying semen into the wombs of whorish tramps all over the country.

Elizabeth Edwards is proud to have both cancer and a cheating husband.

In all fairness, however, his frumpy wife Elizabeth is reportedly just maggoty with cancer, and a practical man must be ready to upgrade.

From the National Enquirer here:

Presidential candidate John Edwards is caught up in a love child scandal, a blockbuster ENQUIRER investigation has discovered.

Rielle Hunter, a woman linked to Edwards in a cheating scandal earlier this year, is more than six months pregnant — and she’s told a close confidante that Edwards is the father of her baby!

The ENQUIRER’s political bombshell comes just weeks after Edwards emphatically denied having an affair with Rielle, who formerly worked on his campaign and told another close pal that she was romantically involved with the married ex-senator.

The ENQUIRER has now confirmed not only that Rielle is expecting, but that she’s gone into hiding with the help of a former aide to Edwards.

He is also the purported father of 16 Year-old Jamie-Lynn Spears’ baby. Jamie-Lynn is the kid sister of celebrity train-wreck Britney Spears. Edwards has been proudly telling his campaign staff that he is “Virile, Fertile, and Chronically Turgid.”

He went on to explain that there are “two Americas,” and he’s in the one with the strong pimp hand.