Bible Verses That Kick Ass

Cracked Magazine has 9 of the most ass-kicking Bible verses ever. My favorite one is about the bears that Elisha summons up to slay a bunch of bratty children because they made fun of the glare coming off of his bald dome!

Yep, that’s pretty hardcore for making fun of someone 8000 years before the invention of Rogaine.

If you thought old men could be grumpy and yell at the kids to stay off their lawns, well, now you know what they would do if they had the power to summon grizzlies.

When I first heard of that verse as a kid in Sunday School, I realized immediately that God was very moody. Bees? Sure. Fire ants? Why not? I would even understand a hail storm. But God sent bears to eat little kids for taunting?? That was way before the whole “forgiveness” part of the Bible.