John Edwards Cheating on Cancerous Wife

The National Enquirer reported last week that John Edwards, presidential candidate and known carcinogen, was banging a campaign worker. Lest we forget, John Edwards’ wife Elizabeth has a form of cancer that makes her look fat.

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Which means that John Edwards is a creepy lowlife who would cheat on his cancer-riddled wife.

From the Enquirer here:

Presidential candidate John Edwards is caught in a shocking mistress scandal that could wreck his campaign. Sources have come forward to charge that the “other woman” previously worked on Edwards’ campaign and followed the 54-year-old candidate on trips across the U.S.

A source close to the woman, whose name is being withheld by The NATIONAL ENQUIRER, says that she confessed to having an affair in phone calls and emails, saying that her work with Edwards soon exploded into romance. The shocking allegation — if proven true — could devastate the Democratic hopeful’s campaign, especially because John’s devoted wife Elizabeth is locked in a desperate battle with breast cancer.

I am not too sure if this story is true. Edwards is smooth “down there” just like a Ken doll. If he did get it on with a woman, he would be a lot like Ms. Garrison on South Park who shouted “Scissor me, Xerxes!”

It has also been suggested that since a former Clinton bigwig is a part owner of the Enquirer this could be a Clinton campaign dirty trick, but I really doubt that anyone would have to pull a stunt like this when they are lagging so far behind in the polls.