Gazewitz Should Get a Real Baby
Yeah, I’m a heartless bastard sometimes. And I admit, I laughed out loud at the notion that this lady was crying on national TV because the state came and took her monkey. But she lives in Maryland and she votes Democrat, so she gets the nanny state she voted for. No use crying about it. But seriously, lady- get a boyfriend, get married and have a real baby.
From MSNBC here:
For Elyse Gazewitz, Armani was like any other baby, right down to his daily bottle, red stroller, Huggies diapers — except for a hole cut out for his tail — and Desitin for the occasional diaper rash.
The four-pound, 18-inch capuchin monkey, who Gazewitz said is 1 year old, loved the tire swings, toys and small hammock in his $4,000 room, which she had built onto her Rockville home. They enjoyed their morning routine: filing their nails, dressing — the monkey wore OshKosh B’Gosh and other infant brands — and watching the “Today” show. When she left the room, Gazewitz said, Armani would scream, curl into a ball and clutch his favorite stuffed dog until she returned.
“He loved me,” says Elyse Gazewitz of her monkey, Armani. He often played in this $4,000 addition she built onto her home in Rockville.
“He just couldn’t stand being away from me,” Gazewitz, 42, said yesterday, breaking into tears. “He loved me.”
Now, Armani is in the custody of the Montgomery County Division of Animal Control and Humane Treatment, suspected of being an illegal resident under Maryland’s wild animal law. Animal control officers seized him last week and cited Gazewitz with six civil violations.
She said the trouble started early last week, when she called a Cecil County animal sanctuary to chat about foods monkeys like to eat. She said that she had never spoken before to the woman who answered the phone and that they discussed carrots, nuts and Armani’s newfound taste for coconut. She said officers told her that the woman reported her, alleging that Armani was “frail and in need of a vet.”
Since Armani was seized, Gazewitz said, she has not been allowed to see him, and she has had trouble eating. She worries about the toll the separation will take on her monkey. He had grown so comfortable in her home, she said, even helping himself to the TV remote control.
“He watched everything I did,” she said. “Monkeys learn from their mothers.”
She treated this critter like a human baby, but it was neither a real child, nor was she its mother. If Gazewitz wants a monkey, she should move to a state where such exotic pet ownership is allowed.
