What Symantec Sings to Shareholders
I have no idea why this has escaped my attention until now. Holy Crap, this must be the song that US-CERT plays to torture captured cyber-criminals. If you are into information security and click the picture of the Symantec Singer below, you should prepare to have your ears water-boarded.
Symantec Revolution baby!
In case you can’t stand the rest of this horrible Symantec Rap/Hip-Hop/Jazzercise nightmare, I have bravely transposed the ridiculous lyrics for you.
We- Got your personal firewall-
Security is where we stand tall.
Our brands are known for quality,
Guaranteed to help you succeed. Yo Yo!
Do we have the suite,
PCAnywhere can’t be beat- Beat!
Productivity is where we shine YO!
Symantec Rocks, everything is fine!
John Thompson’s here to move ya.
What he says, I’m sure will groove ya.
Symantec’s growing fast, so come along,
Our people are what makes it strong.
In Sydney, Paris and Orlando,
Club? consistency wherever you go,
GLP’s our proof we know of the
Nokia and Chevron think we’re tough!
Enterprise is hot, I’m tellin’ you,
Do you know e-commerce? You bet we do!
Shelf space means the world to us,
‘Cause our brands are causing quite a fuss! Bang!
We’re the leader in Internet Security
People trust our work implicitly!
This worldwide conference is to prove
Symantec’s HOT HOT HOT, so raise the roof!
Gadzooks! Maybe if they didn’t waste money on a hiphop travesty and paid their developers more money, they would not have coded crippling versions of their software that have allowed botnets to infiltrate the very customers who trust their products!
And if their people is what makes the company strong, what was the deal with the recent layoffs? Does that mean the company is now weaker?
I worked at Symantec from 2000 to 2004. All in all, not a bad place to work at the time, though I know things have gone downhill recently. The song you link to is actually an old marketing campaign, from around 2001 (the Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch beat should have been a tipoff). So it’s not certainly not new. I remember when we first heard it in house. People couldn’t contain their giggling. But bear in mind it was originally developed for a Symantec sales convention, as a way of pumping them up. Everyone knows salespeople are crazy with no taste in anything, so in that context it makes perfect sense.
Whoa! This blog looks exactly like my old one!
It’s on a entirely different subject but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Wonderful choice of colors!