John Edwards Polls Better with Cancerous Wife

Ever hear of taking lemons and making lemonade? John Edwards is taking cancer and making political hay with it. Rather than dropping out of the race to be with his wife, or rather than faxing a press release to the wire services, John Edwards yesterday called a press conference at high noon to announce that his wife has bone cancer and that she will probably die from it. But America shouldn’t worry, cause his Presidential Campaign is going “full speed ahead.”

Its a win, win, win situation for John Edwards. Its a win for him because having a terminally diseased wife will make him nearly immune to any criticism while on the campaign trail. So no matter how stupid or ridiculous his socialist agenda gets, no one will criticize it because, “hey, dude- take it easy, the man’s wife is DYING of cancer!”

Its also a win because, should he fall too far behind in the polls, he can easily drop out of the race to be with her, and it will make him look like the most compassionate and sacrificing husband. Then he can run again during another presidential campaign, reaping the political windfall of being a widower.

Its also a win because he gets to date again soon. And women LOVE a metrosexual man with sexy product in his hair.