Principal Gives Wedgie to Student

Here is a stupid story about a High School Principal horsing around with several of his high school students at a JV soccer game. He criticized one student’s poor skills and then gave the kid a wedgie. Most thought it was innocent and part of the horseplay. But the school board took it very seriously.

From NBC 4 here:

Eric Messerli is back at a Montana high school after a six-day suspension for giving a student a “wedgie.”

But Messerli isn’t a fellow student, he’s the principal of Park High in Livingston.

Messerli said the wedgie incident was the biggest mistake of his life. He cried as he made a public apology at the local school board meeting.

Witnesses said Messerli just appeared to be fooling around when he pulled up the waist band of a senior soccer player’s undershorts.

Superintendent Hannibal Anderson said Messerli’s actions were inappropriate and unprofessional and warrant substantial disciplinary action. But he said it wasn’t sufficient grounds to fire him.

Sheesh. If I cried at a school board meeting, I would have to move out of the state. If you are going to go around handing out wedgies, be a frickin man about it. Don’t cry!

And how bad was the wedgie? Was it a standard wedgie, or was it an Atomic wedgie? While it was clearly inappropriate for the principal to touch a student in any way, the wedgie severity, as outlined below, should be used as guidance when deciding disciplinary action.

• Standard Wedgie: This is a one-handed “grab of opportunity,” most often done when two inches or more of the waistband is showing. Enough force is used to firmly wedge the material in the butt crack. Disciplinary Action– A firm apology.
• Power Wedgie: This is a two-handed grab with enough lift to make a victim stand on his tip-toes. Disciplinary Action– Firm Scolding and written warning.
• Hanging Wedgie: This is when the victim is lifted off of the ground by his waistband and hung on a hook or on a chain link fence. And left there. Disciplinary Action: Suspension without pay, and must buy victim brand new six-pack of fruit-of-the-looms.
• Flying Wedgie: This is when the victim is hoisted into the air by his waistband and swung around in at lieast one full circle. For best effect, several rotations are typically employed. Disciplinary Action: Immediate Termination. Restitution would need to be paid to the victim for pain and suffering, and fertility testing should also be paid for due to groin damage.
• Atomic Wedgie: This is when the waist band is brought up so high that the attacker can loop the waistband around the victim’s head. Disciplinary Action: Firing Squad.