Superman Returns- Avoids Child Support
If he could see the new Superman movie, Christopher Reeve would be rolling over in his grave- that is, uh, if he wasnt paralyzed. And dead.
Think that was bad? The new Superman movie is worse. The acting, the special effects and the directing was excellent, making this the best Superman movie technically and visually. Its the story that was so awful. That, and the forced comparisons between Superman and Jesus Christ.
Let’s start with the story. This movie takes place as a sequel to the first series of movies starring Chris Reeve. Superman had supposedly gone on a five year mission to see if pieces of the planet Krypton still existed, and having found little or nothing of value, he comes home, gets his old job back at the Daily Planet, and resumes his acts of do-goodery.
Superman is now a multi-cultural, globalist icon. There is one telling scene where the editor of the Daily Planet asks a reporter to find out if Superman “Still stands for Truth, Justice and… the rest of it.” The glaring omission of the “American Way” should be a blow to patriotic Americans everywhere.
Superman uses his superpowers to stalk Lois Lane, and he becomes a Peeping Tom using his Xray vision to watch her in her home, and uses his super hearing to spy on her conversations with her live-in boyfriend. Lois Lane has a kid too, and the child ultimately turns out to be Superman’s progeny who uses a piano to smoosh a bad guy.
I think one of Superman’s other super powers is the ability to avoid paying Child Support. He is Super Deadbeat Dad.
Meanwhile, Lex Luthor gets out of jail because Superman failed to appear in court to testify against Lex for his crimes in the previous movies. I suppose that Comic Book judges are even more brainless than real life judges. Lex brilliantly schemes and plots to wipe out America and create a deathtrap for Superman.
The comparisons to Jesus Christ could not be more blatant.
Superman, who was sent by his father to “save the hearts of mankind,” and who can float in the atmosphere and listen to the prayers and cries of humanity, sacrifices himself to save mankind from Lex Luthor’s schemes by willingly going to his death. After being beaten savagely by Luthor and his cronies as if it were a scene from the Passion of the Christ, Superman has his side pierced by a piece of kryptonite. And his hands begin to bleed as if he has a stigmata. Superman falls into the ocean after his beating in a crucifixion pose. Superman’s body is taken to a hospital where he clinically dies. A woman enters his private hospital room, past the centurion guard, to find the hospital room empty. Superman reappears to humanity and to Lois Lane, and in the final scene of the movie, he rises majestically into space.
If you are considering seeing this movie, bring a blanket and a pillow. Besides being preachy, there are long stretches of super boredom.
