World’s Fattest Hacker

The World’s Fattest hacker is pictured below ordering Papa John’s online for the 15th time today. He uses stolen credit card information to order fuel for his 1200 LB body.

Manuel Uribe, or Monterrey Mexico, tips the scale at a weight normally reserved for zoo animals, but it doesn’t get in the way of his “L33t 5k1llz.” He claims he cannot stand or even get out of bed and must rely on relatives, neighbors and the confused tourist or two to bath him weekly with a garden hose. But he can deface a webserver using the latest PHP vulnerabilities and says that he is the leader of a H4x0r crew that is set on spamming Gringos with phishing information so they will be tricked into giving up vital banking information he uses to order food, fine computer equipment, and strippers.

Uribe hopes that he will be able to steal enough cash and goods from unsuspecting victims so he can finally rent a giant U-Haul so he can cross the American border and try to get in on some of that popular amnesty he hears is going around.