My Pizza Tastes Like Embalming Fluid

I used to deliver pizzas back in the day, and I remember those days fondly, driving around in the car, listening to the radio, making enough scratch for gas and beer- and all the free pizza you could eat. Usually the customers had no idea how dirty the delivery driver’s car was. I kept mine filthy. I had Big Gulp cups, napkins, condiment packets, bottles, cans, and other assorted debris co-mingled with my Pizza delivery necessities, such as maps, a spotlight, a pizza apron, etc, piled in the foot well of the passenger seat. It was kinda gross, but its not like the trash got onto the pizza or anything.

But this is a little creepy-

From the Smoking Gun Here:

APRIL 27–In what will surely repulse Pennsylvanians, a Domino’s delivery man used a car to transport corpses to funeral parlors when he wasn’t using the vehicle to bring pies and Cheesy Bread to pizza enthusiasts. Last Friday, a Lower Southampton Township Police Department officer pulled over a 1993 Buick after noticing the vehicle did not have an inspection sticker. Additionally, William Bethel, 24, was driving with a suspended license, so cops informed him that the vehicle was going to be impounded. According to a police report, when officers began taking an inventory of the station wagon, they noticed a stretcher in the rear of the vehicle (along with rubbish and wet clothing) where “pizzas were sitting to be delivered.” Asked about the items, Bethel explained that when he finished delivering Domino’s pizzas, “he transports deceased bodies in the same vehicle for a funeral home.” A police check with local health officials determined that the use of the car for stiffs and slices did not violate county ordinances. Bethel, who was not arrested, is facing $400 in fines for driving with a suspended license and operating a vehicle without an inspection certificate. The station wagon is registered to Carl Delia, owner of a so-called removal service that delivers dead bodies to Philadelphia-area funeral homes.

Okay, so this begs the following questions:

• Do the corpses get delivered to the Funeral Home in 30 minutes or less or the next stiff is free?
• Will this scandal, coupled with the events portrayed in the 1982 Movie “Night Shift” which also highlighted problems with the Philadelphia Morgue finally cause Philly to overhaul its mortuary policies?
• Why does grandma’s body smell like pepperoni?
• Has the driver ever accidentally mixed up his deliveries, such as dropping off a Large Pepperoni and Sausage and an order of Buffalo Wings to the Philadelphia Memorial Chapel Funeral Home and dropped off the smelly homeless vagrant “John Doe” stiff to 15 Potter Street?