Katrina Victims Trapped by Blizzard of ’06

As millions began the week by shovelling snow off their sidewalks, some families, displaced by Hurricane Katrina, and now trapped by the snows of the blizzard of 2006, began their week with a call for Federal aid that never showed up.

“We called the Red Cross and FEMA, asking for a helicopter ride or a snowblower, and they flat-out refused our requests!” exclaimed Sharonda Brown, former resident of New Orleans.

“Families are stranded in their homes with no way to get out,” said an angry Kanye West during a break while he was shooting a new mucic video that depicted him as Jesus Christ. “This is clearly George Bush’s fault.”

Out of the three dozen families that had been relocated to suburban Washington DC hotels and shelters, only one family had a snow shovel that could be used to get them down their driveway and to freedom. “We come from the south. We have never seen no snow like this,” said LeBron Washington, a former resident of New Orleans’ Ninth Ward. “Now I’m stranded in this house, with no way to get to the store or even to the Bus Stop so I can go look for work.”

There were early reports of cannibalism, rape and at least one beheading in the homes of the trapped victims, but these reports have not been substantiated.
The Bush Administration, despite knowing about the pending snow storm for two days, failed to deploy a single Homeland Security Specialist to dig these Katrina victims from their snowy tombs.

The office of Homeland Security Director Michael Chertoff declined comment. It is not kown at this time whether or not Democrat Senators will call for hearings, although House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi commented, “This is just the latest proof that this administration is filled with scandal and cronyism.”

Pelosi then called for an immediate cash assistance grant to those victims stranded by the 2006 blizzard in the amount of Two Thousand dollars.

All is not lost for those families trapped and suffering due to the neglect of the Bush Administration and its mismanagement of the Blizzard Crisis of 2006. Sean Penn recently purchased one dozen Huskies from PetSmart, and is currently working on building a hand-made dog sled. “If I can manage to get these dogs and this sled on an airplane, I will fly to Washington and mush these dogs to the rescue of George Bush’s victims,” he quietly averred.