Osama, On the Run, Tried to Call ‘Time Out!’

21st century caveman and former terrorist mastermind, Osama Bin Laden, somehow managed to smuggle a tape recording of himself out of his hidden “Terror Cave” to weakly call for a “Time Out” in the war on terror to allow him and his fellow terrorists to regroup.

From Reuters here: http://tinyurl.com/7fsbe

DUBAI (Reuters) – Osama bin Laden warned that al Qaeda was preparing new attacks inside the United States, but said the group was open to a conditional truce with Americans, according to an audio tape attributed to him on Thursday.

It was the first purported tape by bin Laden since 2004. Al Jazeera television, which aired the tape, said it was recorded in December.

“The operations are under preparation and you will see them in your houses as soon as they are complete, God willing,” said the speaker on the audio tape, who sounded like bin Laden.

In the tape, bin Laden said al Qaeda was willing to “respond” to U.S. public opinion in favor of withdrawing troops from Iraq. He did not specify conditions for the truce, but indicated that it was linked to U.S. troops quitting Iraq.

“Based on the substance of the polls, which indicate Americans do not want to fight Muslims on Muslim land, nor do they want Muslims to fight them on their land, we do not mind offering a long-term truce based on just conditions that we will stand by,” he said.

“There is nothing wrong with this solution except that it deprives the influential people and warlords in America from hundreds of billions of dollars, — those who supported Bush’s election campaign with billions of dollars.”

Responding to the truce offer, the White House said that the United States “does not negotiate with terrorists.”

This is the funniest call for a time-out in the middle of a battle since Robin Williams’ character tried to call a time out with Jerry Reed’s character in the movie “The Survivors.” If UBL wants to negotiate a real truce, he should present himself to the US’s negotiating team, the US Army!

It should also be noted that UBL parrots Howard Dean and the other democrats that urge US surrender in the war on terrorism, quoting polls and repeating the meme that Bush lied. Of course, like Mother sheehan, he wants the US out of Iraq now!

Hat tip to DB at Sweetness and Light-