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Jones Soda is the overpriced soft drink soda maker from Seattle. They are famous for making drinks flavored with real life things you don’t want to drink- like turkey drumsticks. And green bean casserole. And pumpkin pie.

Now they are out with new drinks sure to show their outright hatred for their customers- Sweat, Turf and Dirt flavors.

From BusinessWeek here:

Ever wonder what the Seahawks’ locker room tastes like after a big game? Apparently, Jones Soda Co. thinks Seattle NFL fans want to know. The company started taking online pre-orders Thursday for a five-pack of sodas with flavors it says reflect the hard work of professional football players.

Clare Bowles, a spokeswoman for the Seattle-based company, said the four literally named flavors — Dirt, Sports Cream, Perspiration and Natural Field Turf — are “pretty lifelike.”

“Perspiration Soda is kind of salty tasting,” she said, with a slightly higher sodium content than the average soda, with a smooth, “stinky football sock” finish.
A sip of Sports Cream Soda conjures up the experience of rubbing ointment into an aching muscle, while Natural Field Turf Soda is like “playing tackle football, and you get tackled really hard, you’re down on the ground and you get a little bit of the grass in your teeth,” Bowles said.

The only sweet soda of the bunch, Sweet Victory, has a berry flavor.

Each bottle features the photo of a Seattle Seahawks player. Limited quantities of the five-pack will be sold in select stores starting Oct. 1.

In May, Jones Soda announced it won a five-year contract to sell nonalcoholic beverages at the Seahawks’ home stadium, Qwest Field, beating out The Coca-Cola Co.

I wonder if they have a “failure” flavor yet, because I’m pretty sure they might be tasting that.